Archive for December 14th, 2012

Friday, 14th December, 2012

Jade still hasn’t turned up and now I’m going to have to spend the whole weekend worrying about seeing her again on Monday, I said something along the lines of this to Imogen, but she said she didn’t know what I was worrying about since Jade was clearly too embarrassed or scared to come to school. I told Imogen that this was what was bothering me, that I had a guilty conscience about it, but she didn’t seem to understand what I meant at all.

If I was seeing Willa this evening I’d have asked her what she thought and also why she thinks Imogen is my friend, she doesn’t seem to know me very well and she doesn’t seem interested in getting to know me. I suppose if I’m going to think about why she wants to be my friend I ought to think about why I’m her friend, but the answer is quite complicated. Originally, I did feel sorry for her about her mum and I wanted to do something to help if I could, but at the same time she fascinated me. She seemed so perfect and so aloof; I didn’t know what was going on in her head. Then when her mum died she seemed even more fascinating, going through such a terrible time and then changing the way that she has. Most importantly, I like her, I like the way that she takes me for what I am and doesn’t try and change me – apart from the eyebrows of course. I like the way that she lets me be silent if I want to be and doesn’t try and talk to me all the time, so I suppose that most of the things that I like about her are the things that make me worry that she doesn’t know me very well. God I’m an idiot, I wish I could just let things be without running them round my head all the time.