Archive for July, 2013

Wednesday, 31st July, 2013

I couldn’t be bothered to listen to my own drivel so gave the diary a miss for a few days. Madge has sacked Lisa – she said that she didn’t have “a salesperson attitude”. That’s a euphemism for “she’s a bloody rude cow”. Luckily we thwarted Jade’s desire to jump into Lisa’s shoes, but the downside of that is that there’s no one to replace her at the moment and she has asked Imogen and I to cover which means that we have had to do a couple of shifts on our own. Jed is being a bit off with me, as if I’ve let him down, which I suppose he thinks I have but I don’t see why I should justify myself to him. Matt and I have been seeing quite a bit of each other but there’s something about it, that’s just not right.

Saturday, 27th July, 2013

I felt quite sick at the pub last night; it really reminded me of when Imogen’s mum died. The whole place was talking about what had happened to Janice, they were all swapping little gory details that they knew, I heard some down right lies being told, it was horrible. Jed was particularly pissed off with the whole thing and started to look edgy say “They should mind their own business”, in a really loud voice. It was only when Matt got there that things seemed to calm down, but that was probably all in my mind as I started to get very embarrassed as I hadn’t told Jed that I’d decided to go back out with Matt and Matt was making it quite obvious that we were back together. Jed looked bemused and then a bit upset, I wanted to say something or apologise but I didn’t know what I was apologising for, not telling him something I suppose. Oh for god’s sake it’s all so pants at the moment.

Friday, 26th July, 2013

It was in the local paper that a man had been arrested after his daughter tried to commit suicide. The paper inferred that it was his fault because of the way that he was treating her, but they wouldn’t say anything definite or name names. They can’t in cases like that because it hasn’t gone to court, at least that’s what Jed said, he seemed to know an awful lot about it. I was really disturbed, thinking back, it was obvious when we were doing our exams that something was going horribly wrong with Janice, but I ignored it, just like I ignored all the other things about her that were begging for help. But then I thought about what Matt had said about me, how he’d said that I always thought that the world revolved around me and that it always mattered what I thought or did. It made me wonder if it was sheer arrogance thinking that I could have done anything to ease Janice’s situation at home. But then I also thought that it was because everyone thought that things were nothing to do with them that bad things happened and that if people tried to help more things would be better. And then I thought that I was thinking too much and had best go down to the pub and let everyone else think instead!!

Thursday, 25th July, 2013

Jed had some amazing news today, he said that Janice’s Dad has been arrested for abusing her, I don’t know what kind of abuse it was but he was bundled off by the police and Janice has been put in a kind of home for people who’ve had a break down. He didn’t know any more than that, but he heard it from two women who were gossiping in the butchers, it happened yesterday. He asked the two ladies what had happened and said that he knew Janice but they just clammed up and said that they shouldn’t really have been talking about it, but they both lived on the same road. Jed couldn’t believe that they wouldn’t tell him any more.

Wednesday, 24th July, 2013

This business with Matt has really been playing on my mind. Imogen said just go back out with him and get it over with and in a way I think she’s right, so I went over to his house today and said that I’d thought about it and I would go out with him, but if he ever did anything like that again I’d never speak to him again. He seemed very pleased and we kissed and cuddled a lot and then had some coffee, he wanted me to go out with him, but I thought I’d put myself out enough already so said that I’d see him on Friday at the pub instead. When I left I felt relieved and as if I’d done the right thing but at the same time ashamed that I’d let him treat me like that and get away with it.

Tuesday, 23rd July, 2013

A great thing happened today, when Imogen and I got into Funkster we saw Madge talking to Jade. We couldn’t believe it and thought that the only reason Jade would be there was to ask for a job. Jade was flabbergasted when she saw Imogen and I working and looked furious, but she’s still quite scared of me so she made a sharp exit. Imogen asked Madge if Jade was looking for a job and Madge said that she was and was really keen because she thought the job was trendy. Madge seemed to think she was quite nice and was thinking of taking her on until Imogen said that she was OK but a bit of a thief!! Madge was horrified and said really, are you sure and Imogen said, “Yes, in fact she stole something from you didn’t she?” I realised that Imogen was talking about Matt and not actually lying, so I said. “Yes, she did, it was terrible.” Then Madge said that she certainly wouldn’t hire her then. We cracked up.

Monday, 22nd July, 2013

Back to mine for a Sunday Roast yesterday and a stay over. Mum said that she felt like she hadn’t seen me in ages and asked me to spend some more time at home. I told her that Imogen needed looking after and that she knew where I was. Steve tried to step in and jolly me into thinking that he missed me too!! Hardly the most important thing on my mind.

Saturday, 20th July, 2013

Friday late night is a crap shift to do, it was really busy, Madge is in her element, but I had really sore feet and a terrible ear after putting up with some really stupid customers. Some of them try to kid themselves they’re thinner or younger than they are and when the clothes don’t fit or they look ridiculous they blame the cut or the quality. I dared to suggest to a woman today that she needed a size 14 rather than a 12 and she accused me of being rude and walked out. Imogen and I were gagging to get out of there and down the pub, or down the boozer as she said, thinking it was hilarious. We only managed to get there a few minutes before Jed wandered in to tell us more about the art of butchery. Then Matt came in and asked me in what must have been a comedy whisper because practically the whole pub heard, whether or not I’d thought about what he’d asked. When he went to the bar Jed said: “you’re not thinking of going back out with him are you?” And I didn’t know what to say so I said that I didn’t know. He rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything, but it made me feel really ashamed and stupid to be even thinking about it. I knew that I’d be diminished in the eyes of Jed if I did go back out with Matt, so I made up my mind that I wouldn’t, but when Matt came back I felt as if I really wanted to and began to think that it wasn’t really any of Jed’s business anyway and who was he to judge me. Aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrg.

Thursday, 18th July, 2013

Poor old Madge thought there would be a great flood of people banging on the door and marching in at 9 o’clock this morning. She kept saying “Right girls, let’s make sure we’re ready.” Ready for what? Being trampled underfoot, or for waiting for ages for something to happen. Eventually a couple of people wandered in, mainly to nose about I think, but Imogen and I managed to scare them out with your enthusiasm to serve them and offer them 5 per cent off. Madge didn’t know whether to praise us for our good working ethic or tell us off for scaring the only customers. She told us to “be a bit more subtle”. As they day wore on more people did come in and even bought stuff, Madge relaxed and it didn’t seem too long before it was twelve and Lisa came in, she still looked bored. Even thought the day went well I started to feel a bit odd, I couldn’t get over the thought that we’d lost some freedom, Imogen and I. We thought we’d have the whole summer holidays stretched out to do exactly what we wanted, but now we were chained to the shop, just like we had been chained to school. Not only that, but it made me feel old – as if things would never be the same again and I’d got onto the work treadmill. It made me think of my Mum going in to work every day at the same time and coming back at the same time, she’s been doing it for years, the same thing every day.

Wednesday, 17th July, 2013

Mad Madge calls us “you girls”, I don’t know if she keeps forgetting our names because if she needs to talk about one of us in particular she said “one of you girls”. I don’t want to be too mean about Madge, she is very nice and tries her hardest to tell us what to do without bossing us about, I don’t know how long she’s been in the shop business, but she seems a bit flaky about everything, sometimes she doesn’t seem to know quite what she’s supposed to be doing. She keeps talking about the opening as if she was opening Buckingham Palace or something. She was going on about providing champagne, but I said that most of her customers wouldn’t be able to drink it, Imogen kicked me in the leg, but Madge looked at me as if I was Einstein and said “Oh yes I hadn’t thought of that, well done!” I said that she should offer people a five per cent discount on their first buy as an opening gift, which she thought was a good idea but was worried because she couldn’t get any signs printed in time for the opening. Now Imogen and I have to greet everyone at the door and tell them that – Imogen is livid with me, but Jenny and Lisa didn’t seem to be listening to much of it. Imogen and I have to start at 9 tomorrow and work until 12, then Lisa is working 12 til 4 and Jenny has to do 4 til 8, she was a bit annoyed at that, but Madge said that she would do the afternoon on Friday and Imogen and I would do the late as it would be busy then – great, working til 8 on a Friday.

Tuesday, 16th July, 2013

There were two other assistants at the training today, they don’t know each other and are called Jenny and Lisa; they were quite quiet and just looked bored most of the time. Working at Funkster is going to be boring and embarrassing; we have to wear little black T-Shirts that we have to pay half for!! And a pair of jeans or trousers from the shop that we also have to pay for, we have to go up and ask every customer if they want any help and then get clothes out for them and then lead them to the fitting room and stay with them while they try on clothes. If it’s too busy for that then we cut out the waiting at the fitting room and telling them how great they look in the clothes. I think Madge is a bit mad; no one will want an assistant lurking behind the curtain in a fitting room. Then we have to check all the racks and make sure that they’re tidy, and clean up when the shop shuts – I though these places hired their own cleaners, but not Madge. She won’t let us go on the till though, that’s a job for her and for us when we are more experienced!! Imogen, bonkers as she is, is still excited and can’t wait to start!!

Monday, 15th July, 2013

Madge phoned and said that she had interviewed everybody and that she wanted us to come in tomorrow afternoon to train. Imogen was really excited and danced around saying that she couldn’t believe we’d both got the job and it would be a real laugh. I wasn’t quite so convinced, I mean the money is great and it’d great that we’re lucky enough to get something together. But the delights of Funkster don’t seem to be much greater than that. Then Imogen did a Claire and started talking about what we’d wear – God save me.

Sunday, 14th July, 2013

I ended up kissing and cuddling Matt last night; I think Imogen was partly to blame as she sloped off to bed after Jed left. Working in the butchers had taken its toll on him!! We’d had a really nice evening, listening to music and even playing Balderdash, we don’t normally play games. But it was fun and relaxed, I had been thinking about Matt a lot and part of what I was thinking was about how much I missed him. Then Jed left and Imogen went off upstairs, I was expecting Matt to go too, but he didn’t and we ended up staying up another couple of hours just talking the way that we used to. When he moved in for a kiss I wasn’t quite expecting it and just reacted the way I would have done before, then it went through my head that I ought to push him away and tell him to get lost, but the truth is that I was enjoying it too much and I sort of thought why not, it’s my decision and why not decide that I want something more. He asked me if we could start going out again and instead of saying no, I said I wasn’t sure and I wanted to think about it. This morning, I feel a bit differently, and the why not is because he doesn’t deserve it after the way that he behaved. Imogen was bounding about like a tigger when we got up and asked how it had gone with Matt after she’d gone to bed. I told her what had happened, expecting her to tell me that I was a complete idiot and should tell him to stuff it. But, instead, she said that she wasn’t surprised and that if I missed him that much I might as well just go out with him again. I don’t know, I feel all confused again and am not sure what to do; I’ll have to think it over.

Saturday, 13th July, 2013

It was a bit of a nightmare seeing Imogen’s dad and aunt yesterday, Aunt Sarah was being all bustling and efficient, while her Dad was trying his best to keep it together, but obviously wasn’t feeling that much better. They were sorting out a load of stuff so that he could stay with Aunt Sarah for another couple of weeks. Apparently they’d been discussing Imogen and had a cunning plan that she should go up too, it took us ages to convince them that this wasn’t the best idea. I was very relieved when we finally got out of there and headed off to the pub. Matt came in later and this time spent most of the evening with us, it was nice. Jed came in after his stint at the butchers, he likes working there, says it’s good fun because all the blokes are a laugh – I can just imagine what kind of a laugh they are. He also gets discount meat and asked us if we were interested, he was quite serious – what did he think that we’d all immediately order a pound of sausages. But it was good too, he’s lost most of his mad ways and seems miles more confident than he used to be, he doesn’t lurk anymore and when I said I hoped he’d keep his sausage in his pants and not try to offer it to customers he thought it was really funny and even said, that we were unlucky not to have had the privilege of a look lately. We assured him we didn’t feel in the least bit unlucky. Imogen was feeling magnanimous and asked Matt over to hers tonight, so he’s coming over later with a bottle to hang out.

Friday, 12th July, 2013

We’re keeping out of the way today as Imogen’s dad and aunt are coming to sort out some stuff. We tidied up the house to look as if we’d hardly been there, they wanted Imogen to come for lunch and talk etc, but she didn’t want to and said that she could only manage to pop in for a cup of tea later, and she said that I was coming without even saying anything to me.

Thursday, 11th July, 2013

Mum was really pleased when I told her about going in to talk about a job in Funkster, it seems that she thinks this is totally normal behaviour and therefore the last piece of evidence that she needed in her view as me of a normal daughter. . . It riled me a bit and I had half a mind to say something to show her that she couldn’t just pigeon hole me like that, but in the end I couldn’t be bothered. Claire seems very jealous as she thinks it is a massively funky place – she hasn’t met Madge!!

Wednesday, 10th July, 2013

It’s really odd how things happen when you’ve been thinking about them, or maybe it’s because you start noticing things because you’ve been thinking about them. But a new shop is opening in a week, it’s a kind of boutique thing for teenage clothes, sort of cheap stuff, that you’d have on a market but quite nicely arranged in the shop. The shop is called Funkster; I can’t make up my mind whether that is a totally crap name, or actually quite good. We were walking past and noticed that there was an advert in the window for part-time staff. Before I knew it, Imogen had marched us in there and was asking about it, the woman who runs the shop was quite nice and said that she had had a bit of interest about the job and that she was a bit busy but if we came back in an hour and a half she’d give us an interview. It was really embarrassing, I was panicking about not knowing what to say and stuff but after an hour and a half Imogen marched us back in and the interview just ended up being a chat with this woman whose name was Madge – ha, Madge, Madge and Funkster don’t go very well together, and she’s a quite square and a bit mumsey. It all seemed to be going well, but she said that she would want people willing to work on Saturdays and do the late nights on Thursday and Fridays and to also do a few hours during the week. She said she was a bit worried about employing two friends and she didn’t want us chatting to each other and not getting on with the job!!! Imogen told her that we wouldn’t and then Madge said that she was opening on Thursday of next week, but that if she took us on she’d want us to come and train on Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning. She said that she’d seen some other people and she’d let us know on Monday. It seems like it would be an easy job, all you have to do is help people choose want they want, or man the fitting room or put out clothes. Part of me thinks it’s a great idea and that we’d get some money and be able to work together, but part of me thinks what a nightmare.

Tuesday, 9th July, 2013

Jed’s got a job and it’s in the butchers for God’s sake. He said that he needed the money and that the butchers pay quite well. I hate butchers shops, I hate the smell and the noise and the blood, but he said it didn’t bother him. He’s actually working there for four days a week including Saturday and two late nights on a Thursday and Friday, he says that he’ll be raking it in and that he finishes at 8.30 on a Friday so will still be able to make it to the pub. He actually offered some information about his Dad for once and said that his Dad had also been hassling him to get a job. His Dad wanted him to get a full time job so that he could pay some keep, but Jed said he wanted to go on and do some A Levels now that he had got reasonable grades, his Dad doesn’t want him to do that, he thinks “A’ Levels are for poofs”. I’d like to punch Jed’s Dad. I really don’t want to get a job, but my pocket money isn’t enough for all the going out that I want to do and I’ve used up years of stashing birthday and Christmas money that I had in the bank, there’s not much left. Imogen says she doesn’t want a job either, her Dad used to give her loads of cash but now that he’s lost his job it’ll be more difficult, but he did get lots of money when her Mum died as she had lots of life insurance.

Monday, 8th July, 2013

Mum ordered us home yesterday for Sunday lunch and to stay over. She said she felt like she hadn’t seen me in weeks and that she missed me. It was actually really nice to be at home and to have a Sunday lunch – it was good to eat some properly cooked food for a change. Steve was being very chatty in a Steve I really don’t know what to say but will myther away good-naturedly for a while type of way. Andrew was chuntering on about playing football with Daz and ??? and Claire was trying desperately to talk about Tash. It’s kind of nice when you have been away and you come back and everything is just the same as when you left it. I even managed to persuade Imogen to phone her Dad and she seemed more relaxed having got it over and done with. He and Aunt Sarah are coming back on Friday to sort out bills and that kind of thing and then they are going back. Aunt Sarah thinks that he might be with her for longer than two weeks if that is OK with us. There was a bit of an awkward moment when she asked to talk to my Mum and make sure it was OK with her, but luckily Imogen managed to divert the conversation.

Sunday, 7th July, 2013

It was such a lovely hot day yesterday; we sunbathed in the back garden and drank loads of long cool drinks with lots of ice in them. Then we went to the pub in the evening and it was great because we sat outside and it was lovely and warm. It also solved a bit of a dilemma because Matt turned up and came straight over and asked if we wanted a drink. Before Jed or Imogen could be rude to him I said that we’d all have a lager. When he’d gone Imogen was aghast and asked what the hell I was doing talking to him. So I said that I couldn’t be bothered to stay angry with him and had decided to be friendlier as it didn’t cost anything and in fact we’d all got a free drink!! Matt came and sat with us for about an hour and it was nice actually, quite like how it used to be. Imogen was very cool with him at the start but even she warmed up a bit before he left. Jed, after an initial shock got back to talking to him they way he used to and it was obvious that he’d missed Matt. Then Matt went off and sat talking to some other friends. The only thing was that he left a bit of a space when he left and I glanced over at him and saw the profile of his face as he was talking and I suddenly missed him really really badly and realised that even though he’d behaved like a shit I still massively missed him.

Friday, 5th July, 2013

It sounds really mean, but it’s great having Imogen’s Dad away, we are just lazing about and doing exactly what we want to, and there’s nobody to tell us to turn the music down or anything. The food is a bit rubbish as we’re not very good at cooking but that’s a small price to pay. We phone Aunt Sarah phones every day and she gives us an update on Imogen’s Dad, there’s not normally too much to tell us apart from that he seems OK and he’s had a session with her friend. But he seems to be drinking less and to not get himself into such a state. We have to phone Aunt Sarah because we don’t want her to phone my house, but it’s awkward though because Imogen doesn’t want to make the phone call and I keep having to make excuses about why I’m phoning and not her. Also, her Dad wants to speak to her and I’ve already said that she’s at the shop or in the bath or something. I’m going to have to get her to phone tomorrow or they’ll start getting worried.

Wednesday, 3rd July, 2013

Yesterday was a very odd day. Imogen and I met her Aunt Sarah in a coffee shop in the morning, she said that she was quite worried about Imogen’s Dad and thought that he needed more help than he was getting. She said that she couldn’t really do too much if he was at home because she had to work but she had started trying to persuade him to come and spend a few weeks with her, she has a friend who works for The Samaritans and thinks that either this woman or one of her friends may be able to help too. But Imogen’s Dad wouldn’t come without Imogen and said he’d only go if she came too. I knew immediately that there was no way that Imogen would go and she started making excuses about why she couldn’t. Then she played a bit of a trump card which was that she said she didn’t think he’d get better if she was constantly there and he was worried about her. But if he knew that she was safe and being looked after at my house then it would take the pressure off him. I said that I thought that would be a good idea and also that it would be good for Imogen as she was getting really stressed having to cope with her Dad. Aunt Sarah managed to talk him into it and they then left to stay with her for a few weeks. Imogen was really pleased but when I said I’d better tell my Mum about her coming to stay she said that she would stay a few nights but would be fine at her own home and I could come and stay with her. It was a bit naughty, but it was also a good idea and meant that we’d get loads of space and privacy so I agreed. We managed to get Mum to agree by not telling her that there was all this trouble with him and just saying that he was away for a week. I realised that I couldn’t leave her on her own so had to sneak off and phone Matt and cancel him and tell him that I may not be able to see him for a couple of weeks. So we phoned up Jed and he came round and we ate pizza and watched DVD’s all night and it was a good evening considering. Jed even stayed the night.

Monday, 1st July, 2013

Jed and I went to Imogen’s today, it was a bit of a shock, her dad who had seemed as if he was getting better and getting over the trauma of his wife behaved like a nutter. First of all, he was really excitable and kept talking to us in a bizarre type of high-pitched stressed out voice, it was very annoying. Imogen tried to whisk us upstairs and out of his clutches, but he insisted that we stayed downstairs and had a drink with him. He tried to give us whiskey – it was eleven in the morning, we said no thanks, but he didn’t take any notice and poured us all one anyway. He was just babbling on about how nice it was to see us and Imogen was lucky to have such good friends, all this sort of stuff that people say when they get really emotional. We kept trying to make a getaway; Imogen was furious and kept saying, “Right we’ve got to go out Dad.” She even went and got her jacket and put it on, but it was really difficult as Jed and I thought it would be too rude to just get up while he was talking to us and leave the house. We ended up sitting with him for about an hour and a half, while Imogen got madder and he got drunker. Then he started getting really mournful and talking about Imogen’s mum and how it was so difficult when she wasn’t there and lonely. The tears started coursing down his face, Imogen made one last attempt to get us out of the house, but when we didn’t move (how could we). She just said, “Right, well I’m going now.” And left the house. It was terrible, I told Jed to hang on while I went after her. I managed to catch her up as she was marching up the street, but she was in a real temper and asked me why the hell we hadn’t done as she’d said and got out of there before he got into such a state. I said that I didn’t think it was right to leave him, but this really infuriated her and she started going on and on about how he should pull himself together, it was her mum that had died and she knew that she just had to get on with life and he was an adult so why couldn’t he and why should she have to look after him when he couldn’t be bothered to look after himself. I said I was surprised that he was worse again because he had seemed so much better, but apparently he has been like this for a while and it was triggered because he lost his job. Although they had been very good about the fact that he was bereaved he kept taking time off work and had turned up drunk too many times. I couldn’t believe that Imogen hadn’t said anything to us, but she said that it was because she knew I would have said that he should get some help and that the help he had got hadn’t worked and anyway, she had too much to do with her exams and stuff. The whole thing was a real nightmare, I wanted to support her, but it was obvious that her Dad needed more help than her and I was worried about poor old Jed who’d just been left to deal with him all on his own. I told Imogen that I knew what she meant, but if she looked at it practically, if her Dad got more help it would be very good for her too as she wouldn’t have to deal with him. But she said she didn’t want to think about it now and just wanted to go out and have some lunch somewhere and have a nice time. Then Jed came and found us and said that her Dad had fallen asleep so he came to see where we were. We went to a café and had a greasy spoon lunch, but all the time I was worried that Mr Martin might choke on his vomit or something – what am I Florence Nightingale?? Imogen asked if she could stay over at mine tonight and I said fine, but then spent ages trying to get her Aunt Sarah’s number from her so we could phone her and see if she could do anything. Luckily enough she said that she would drive over and meet us there at four, which she did and said that she would stay over and see if she could talk to him when he sobered up. She seemed a really nice and helpful woman, but Imogen hardly spoke to her and refused to say any more about her Dad but just said she’d thought enough about him today and that was that. After all that stuff I couldn’t very well bring up the small business of going out for a drink with Matt tomorrow, and now I feel as if I’ve sort of lied by omission.